


Howling Through Hollows

by caughtitonland



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, [genre] angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-04
Updated: 2011-05-04
Packaged: 2017-10-20 14:49:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caughtitonland/pseuds/caughtitonland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you tell her he's gone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Howling Through Hollows

**Author's Note:**

> Spoileresque for 1x23.  
> This came out of some Tumblr talk, all the previews, reading the [Sock Puppet](http://cattraine.livejournal.com/391739.html) series, and a beautifully haunting song by [Susanne Sundfør](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgAMh7s-q_k).

He can't really feel his hands. Come to think of it, he hasn't felt them in quite a while. Steve squeezes his fingers into a fist, stretches them out in front of him to make sure they still work. They feel like they've been dunked in an ice bath and he turns to the nearest sink to warm them up.

Leave it to Rachel and Stan to be halfway around the world for something like this. To be too far away to help. Leaving it to him to try and explain to Gracie just what happened. He takes a deep breath and looks into the mirror, saddened but not surprised by what he sees there. Closing his eyes against the image, he tries to think of something beautiful to relieve the crease in his forehead; it has the opposite effect.

She's wearing a flowered dress, her little legs dangling off the chair, swinging back and forth with the sandals Danny had bought her just last week when the pair she was wearing had broke at the beach. Hair in low pigtails, she's the picture of innocence and kills him that he's going to be the one to shatter that forever.

Gracie sees him and before he knows it, she's got her arms wrapped tightly around his legs, fear causing her to hold on tight. He bites his cheek to keep the tears at bay.

"Where's daddy? Is he okay?" she asks, looking up at him with the hope of a million dreams. Steve scrubs his face with his hand. Crouching, he picks her up and rests her on his hip, hugging her tightly before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Uncle Steve? What's wrong?" Her voice is shaking and he has to shut his eyes tightly against the rush that threatens to undo him before he can get the words out.

"Gracie, you remember how I told you earlier that Danno breathed in some bad stuff?" She nods, gaze locked on his face, listening intently.

"Well sweetheart, that bad stuff did a lot of damage to his lungs and heart. The doctors did everything they could to fix it, but--"

"Is daddy dead?" Gracie asks, tears already spilling down her cheeks, Danny's little girl putting her last shred of hope in Steve's hands. He tucks her head into the crook of his neck and that's all the confirmation she needs, the sobs coming fast and hard after that. Somehow, he manages to stay dry-faced as he tries his best to soothe her, knowing it's a fruitless pursuit.

 

_________________________________

She refuses to stay with Rachel and Stan the next day as they stand in Hawaiian Memorial Park Cemetery, crying until Rachel lets her run the few short steps towards Steve. He picks her up without a word, letting her tears soak into his uniform and covering her ears as the guns fire into the sky, saluting a fallen officer one final time.

Gracie throws a fit when they try to pry her from his arms at the end of the service, screaming like she's being tortured, an anger escaping her little body the likes of which he'd only ever seen in her father. Any other day, it would have made him smile, maybe even crack up. Today, it simply breaks his heart a little further.

Stan concedes that they should let her go with Steve for the day, seeing the tantrum for what it is--grief--and not the stubborn defiance of a 'bad' child. Rachel heeds his suggestion and they head for the Towncar, leaving Steve and Gracie alone in the sloping green field.

Neither of them speak as Steve drives them back to the home he and Danny had only recently started sharing. Grace looks out the window, face still wet from the tears, her fingers wrapped around the pin for the door's lock, other hand crumpling the middle of her skirt in a tight grip.

Steve cooks dinner, but neither of them take more than a few bites, the empty third chair taking most of their focus. After the food, they sit on the couch, flipping channels until they find a Hannah Montana re-run. About halfway through, Grace's voice cuts through the dialogue and Steve looks down to see a questioning gaze in her eyes.

"Did you love daddy, Uncle Steve?" He bites his lip, nodding before the words form in his throat.

"I love him very much, Gracie."

"Then how come you haven't cried?" The question puts a screeching set of breaks to the cogs of his mind, Steve trying to figure out when Grace become as vigilant as her father.

"Because..." He can't put into words the feeling of needing to put on a strong front for everyone, including her, so Steve merely shrugs.

"Is it because you're scared that you won't be able to stop?" Steve can't answer, her insight closing his throat up too tightly for words. When she gets no valid response, Grace plows ahead, a look of intense concentration on her face.

"It's okay to cry, Uncle Steve," and he's not sure whether it's the words or her tiny frame wrapping around him in a giant hug that is his final undoing, but Steve holds her weakly and let's down his guard, wailing brokenly into her little shoulder as her hand haphazardly smooths down the back of his head.


End file.
